Dear Abby: I recently bought a first-floor condo because I am an older woman with a knee disability. Otherwise, I would have purchased a unit on the second floor of this two-story condo complex. I am only here part time because my husband is not ready for retirement.
The owner above me has two children who jump off the kitchen counter onto the floor multiple times a night as late as 10 p.m. It causes everything in my kitchen cabinets to rattle. I have spoken with the property manager. He’s willing to send them violation notices which would eventually include fines. I haven’t taken him up on it because, since I am a part-time resident, I’m concerned about retaliation such as broken windows or vandalism to my car in the parking lot. Of course, that neighbor would be the prime suspect, but I would have no proof.
I can’t afford a more expensive community. My husband and I did knock on her door in a congenial manner one day to introduce ourselves as new neighbors. She did not give us the time of day. What would you do if you were me?
—Feels the noise down south
Dear Feels the Noise,
I would knock on the woman’s door, explain the problem, and politely ask her to instruct her children not to jump off the kitchen counter after 6 p.m. because the crashing noise prevents me from enjoying my apartment. If she didn’t cooperate, I’d have another talk with the manager. If the warnings and fines didn’t work, I’d contact Child Protective Services, because what those kids are doing is dangerous and their parent is unwilling to supervise them.
Dear Abby: I have been happily married to my husband for 35 years. My mother-in-law just drafted her will and is passing her entire estate to him, with it being split equally among our three adult kids if he were to pass away before her. She was asked to name a beneficiary if all four of them predecease her. (I know it would be extremely unlikely.) My MIL has no other living relatives—no parents, siblings, husband, cousins, etc.
She named a friend and neighbor rather than me as the beneficiary of her estate in this event. This neighbor lives next door to her and drives her to the grocery store, bank, and doctor appointments, since my MIL does not drive and we live 3 1/2 hours away.
I thought she and I have always had a good relationship. My husband and I send flowers and cards on her birthday and Mother’s Day. I select thoughtful gifts for her at Christmas. I have always treated her with kindness, respect, and gentleness. I am helpful when she has health issues. I assist her in the kitchen with dishes, etc. I have always treated her son well. Am I petty, unreasonable, or immature for having negative feelings about not being mentioned in her will?
—Hurt in Colorado
Dear Hurt,
Not at all. You’re human. It does appear to be a glaring omission, and under these circumstances, your reaction is understandable. What does your husband feel about what his mother did? Perhaps he should speak to her and ask if she forgot she has a daughter-in-law when she made her will.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O.Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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Dear Abby: Dealing with noisy upstairs neighbors in my condo
